The Flash

They flash 
upon that 
inward eye
which is the 
hell of solitude
	too much 
	too soon
	too heavy
with leather and 
iron I cannot
bear them in my 
hands - all my
youth on display
all the demands
all the mystery

that prevented me 
from sighting clear

I would do 
differently if I
could go back 
with all I learned
and spurn all the 
useless turds
who wasted my 
time, choose, 
drive, another 
road and hold 
close to me
all the precious 
things I misspoke
all I lost
tossed overboard
in desperation 
with the rush
the slice of years 
against my skin
and the fear of 
rubbish, the 
dustbin and the
gutter so near

the motherlode
magnetic north
all the unsaid 
words	the 
unspoken worth
I would say 
	thank you
I would say
	sorry
I did not 
understand and 
was utterly
consumed with 
worry within an
alien world 
I never did 
command.

I did not get it 
right 	this
awful, terrifying 
life 	and all my
time was wasted
in futile endeavour

I wish it was 
forever
this gazing at the 
sun.

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