The Long Way

It has been a long way from there to here.  
This day has been a year.  

These thoughts and pictures stay the same
Old routine.

I cannot break the chain that links me
With the me I was formerly.

I am
All amalgam:

Things seen, places flung, lost roads.
I have difficulty now, with fords.

Another stream
To tip myself in -

All the leavings -
All the cleavings -

The load gets heavier every time.
The living business harder to define.

I am worn by screams
And crimes -

They regurgitate to haunt my sleep,
I cannot plait my being to make it neat,

Smooth the onward way evenly, the way back
Too far from here so I run the given track

Swaying with indecision, uncertainty, fear,
The same old lack of self-faith.  This is a sair

Fecht, the long way round the track.
This is the longest day.  I want to give it back.

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