The Jewel I

I am in search of a
Jewel that is me that must be
Sifted and dug and
Scraped down to - all
Means and any to
Unearth it.

I must pick this fevered ground
Gouge and splay and
Examine it until it
Yields me sight of
What's real and I
Recover

The gem I lost somewhere 
Along the way - people were
Real enough - but acting
Parts in someone else's
Life I knew none of my
Own heart.

Now I must discover my
Hidden stone in hope that it
Still is and waits
To be extracted.  I will be
All exultation at my find -
Priceless jewel -

No matter how damaged it is,
Dulled or scored, it will be
Mine nonetheless in
Spite of appearances and 
Lack of edge and colour
All dejected and bled -

At the last hour it will be
Mine - reach down my
Hand - receive 

Volts from its prism, its
Charged heart of 
Ruby.

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