I never did let go, held on tight as if my life would swallow all the past and live but it didn't happen that way - I took it in and died anyway with no power to say no. Life is a fight - every day - to assuage, to be ok and not to succumb to a place of no hope and all darkness with no purpose. I must breathe and live - learn to swallow and hope it gets no worse, the sorrow.next poem