I die a thousand

Deaths each day
As the hot air blower
Blasts my body all down
My  left side
And  you are not here.

T know I am  sick inside,
Am  trying madly not to care:
To stare down these
Vengeful days with
Ease - they must be
Borne they say
As they grin at me
Cheekily -
A terrifying power of forever
Seeds and roots in their
Breath.  You
Were  never here.

1 have to clamp my
Fear - shackle it down
Or it would tear me with its
Claws, it is animal, sheer and
Awful with a yellow baleful eye
It stares me down strong.
You  will never
Be here for

I must hawk  my home,
Wake  it from its doze,
Cast-off my collection and
Throw  all this away - you
Do not exist now you see
And  I have never been

More  dear to myself
Than  I am now, spending
Gold  so wantonly on
Prizes so precious they can
Never be bought.

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