Winnings

It feels all up
like the race is won
and I crossed the finish-line
with my own personal
score and time, stand
panting in shock
that I made it, got here,
and wonder what to do now
that matters anymore
with people gone and
places left, and packets
heaved overboard on the way -
what if I want them now
I have reached dry land?
Do I just regret regret regret
the rest of my life away?
and feel
I made a mess of it -
or can I back
my decisions, clinging
to a life raft I couldn't 
heft packets and boxes and stuff:
they would have drowned me -
it is too late to care -
I must take stock
of what I have
and can use right here right now
not boo and hiss
at all my own endeavours -
just do the best I can, they said,
and so I did.
What did I win?

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